The Curse of Hermes Trismegistus

Myshevsky. Elena Pavlovna, shame on you! Follow Sergei Yurievich’s example – he is calm and confident, like a granite rock.

Ogranovich. Sergei Yurievich is accustomed to dealing with all sorts of psychos and maniacs. An individual of a split personality is a common case for him. Just take a look at him! What’s the difference between him and other psychos? He doesn't even need a partner to play chess with. Oh, no, my mind is not ready to accept this! Sorry, for feeling myself a woman sometimes!

Vykhuholev. Why have you come then? I don't understand such people…

Myshevsky. Friends, friends, don’t argue, please! You are here because I wanted this. I can trust only you.

Ogranovich. Maybe you can do it without me? And when you need me…

Myshevsky. Unfortunately, it won't work. Our respectful professor states there should be six people for a séance to make a hexagram. Is that right, Stalver Udarpyatovich?

Golyshkin. Actually, there might be any number of people. But the hexagram is the best way to communicate with ghosts. Seeing the six-pointed star, spirits usually take on human image and become submissive.

Ogranovich. Hey, psychiatrist, here's exactly what you need! A hexagram tattoo on your forehead. Your patients will be like putty in your hands.

Vykhuholev. And not only them.

Golyshkin. Even in daily life, a hexagram can bring good luck. Just take it in your hand. No wonder this geometric figure is called the star of King Solomon. According to the legend, this king was very lucky and happy. The first images of the hexagram appeared around the fourth millennium BC. It has been found in ancient Egypt, the Middle East, India and Europe. The hexagram was depicted on Christian churches, Muslim mosques and Jewish synagogues…

The doorbell rings.

Myshevsky. I'm sorry, professor, for interrupting. But it seems that someone else wants to join our company. May I open the door.

Golyshkin. Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Myshevsky! You are my guest. This is my house, and I have to take a duty of the owner.

Myshevsky. Your home, you say? Okay, let it be your way.

Golyshkin leaves the office, comes up to the door and opens it. Olga comes in. She is dressed up luxuriously.

Olga. Good evening, Stalver Udarpyatovich!

Golyshkin. Olga Alekseevna, Olya! I am so glad to see you! It seems like a whole eternity has passed…

Olga. Just a few days. I did not even notice how they flew by.

Golyshkin. But you have changed somehow!

Olga. Is this good or bad?

Golyshkin. It's definitely good for you. As for me… I don't know yet. I need time to comprehend this metamorphosis.

Olga. Well, why don’t you just tell me, that you admire me? Why do you need this deep search in your feelings? Does it really make you happy?

Golyshkin. I suppose, that’s my cross to bear.

Olga. But definitely not mine. So, please, spare me from your mournful mediation. You’d better tell me what is going to be here tonight? You said on the phone that I am assigned the leading role in the session, is that right?

Golyshkin. I'll tell you everything, but a little bit later. Now let me invite you to my office and introduce you to the other participants of the session. Everyone has already gathered. Except Rodion.

Olga. Oh! Are there other women among them?

Golyshkin. Only one. But, frankly, she looks so little like a woman…

Olga. I like it. So, no one will be offended that I’ve got the leading role. I know perfectly well what this female envy is! Oh, Stalver Udarpyatovich, how much I have suffered from it!

Golyshkin. That’s common fate of a beautiful woman.

Olga. You're getting better, professor! This way I like you more. Keep going, keep going! And who knows what reward might wait for you.

Golyshkin. You inspire me Olga! May I kiss your hand?

Olga. Oh, no, professor! Stop it! By the way, I need… how do you say that politely? I need to the powder room! You don't have to follow me. I know where it is located in your apartment, as well as where your office is.

Golyshkin. Sure! Of course! But remember, we are waiting for you!

Olga. I'm back as soon as possible.

Olga opens one of the doors. Golyshkin goes back to his office.

Ogranovich. I don’t know about synagogue, but I personally saw a hexagram on the facade of Santa Croce Basilica in Florence. It was during my honeymoon. A beautiful old building, I tell you! It was built either in the thirteenth or fifteenth century.

Vykhuholev. Did you also sell it to someone?

Ogranovich. Oh, I wish I would! It is a cherished dream of any notary to deal with such a transaction It's the same as to fix the Big Ben clock mechanism for a watchmaker.

Vykhuholev. Or the same as to rob Fort Knox for a thief.

Ogranovich. Santa Croce Basilica! It is a Franciscan Gothic church in the form of the Egyptian T-cross. It’s funny!

Vykhuholev. What's funny about the church, I don't understand?

Ogranovich. It's funny, that I still remember all that. My first husband’s face has almost erased from my memory. And even more it has erased how we had spent our honeymoon in Florence. But I have not forgotten that Galileo Galilei, Michelangelo Buonarroti, Machiavelli and Rossini had been buried in this basilica. I wonder, why is that so?

Vykhuholev. That’s quite clear. It’s ordinary megalomania. It’s a person’s desire to have even an indirect relation to the great people. That’s a common case in psychiatry.

Ogranovich. Oh, I see, everything is always clear to you, shrink! It’s so boring with you.

Vykhuholev. The only thing isn’t clear yet. Why is this particular geometric figure so relevant? What do these two triangles placed on each other mean?

Ogranovich. How should I know? I'm a notary, not an alchemist.

Myshevsky. According to one theory, the hexagram defines the human social structure. The upward pointing triangle stands for the power distribution in the society. The upper part is the elite, the lower part is the crowd.

Vykhuholev. What about the triangle pointing down?

Myshevsky. It reflects the distribution of knowledge in society. The elite owns holistic volume of knowledge, and the crowd has scattered, fragmented one.

Ogranovich. It’s some kind of genocide! The worse might be distribution of knowledge according to the racial or gender aspects.

Vykhuholev. Anyway, you don’t have to worry about, Elena Pavlovna? I’ve always thought that notaries often dance on razor blades, so their sense of fear is atrophied.

Ogranovich. Each of us has something to fear, Mr. Vykhuholev. Including even you, psychiatrists, fearless explorers of human nature dark sides.

Myshevsky. By the way, according to some sources, the hexagram also means combination of male and female principles. The triangle pointing upward is the masculine principle. A triangle pointing down…

Golyshkin enters the office.

Myshevsky. I suggest to ask the professor, why he chose the hexagram. Please, shed some light, Stalver Udarpyatovich, otherwise we are wandering in the dark.

Golyshkin. With pleasure! Everything is quite simple. In alchemy, the hexagram symbolizes the philosopher's stone. It is made up of two opposite triangles, meaning the unity of opposites.

Rodion comes in.

Rodion. And also, the hexagram of Solomon protects you against Lilith. This is such a terrible Jewish demon that kidnaps children at night. Total rubbish! I remember once when I was a child my father told me this bullshit for the night. After that I used to pee in the bed for a long time because of fear. My dad always left my bedroom, thinking that I’d fallen asleep, and turned off the light. In his philosophical point of view, he was bringing up courage in me. And I was left alone with the monster. It stared at me with the fiery eyes from a dark corner…

Golyshkin. Actually, well-behaved children say “hello” when they enter a room full of adult guests.

Rodion. My father still can not get used to a fact, that I’ve grown up. But he is definitely right about one thing. At any age, you have to be polite. I apologize! Greetings to all who have gathered here today to celebrate the Bastille Day. It’s the same day as the one of the faceted glass or the day of the beeps, or…

Olga comes in.

Olga. Haven’t you forgotten about me?

Rodion. Hello Olya!

Golyshkin. Why do you call her Olya, you, boy?!

Olga. Stalver Udarpyatovich, will you introduce me to your guests? I feel really embarrassed.

Golyshkin. I am sorry, Olga Alekseevna, you are absolutely right. No one is interested in our family disputes. Let me introduce you my guests. Mr. Myshevsky. He is a mastermind of our today’s event.

Myshevsky. Mr. Myshevsky is too official for our tight circle of friends. You may call me Andrey Sigizmundovich. Or it’s better just Аndrey. My patronymic name is too complex to pronounce. Thanks to my father.

Olga. I am just Olya then.

Golyshkin. They are Mr. Myshevsky’s friends…

Vykhuholev. Sergey.

Olga. Nice to meet you – Olya!

Golyshkin. This is Elena Pavlovna.

Ogranovich. Yes, and please, keep in mind, that I am not Lena! I dislike this trend of calling everyone by their short names with no regard to age and rank. Lena, Lena! It sounds like one is calling a dog. I differ from a yard dog by that fact that I do know who my father was.

Olga. Olga Alekseevna.

Rodion. And you can call me Rodion Stalverovich. I am the son of Professor Golyshkin. Please, love and favor.

Myshevsky. Dear Rodion Stalverovich, I think we’d prefer to love Olga Alekseevna, but as for you, we are ready just to favor you.

Rodion. Sure! I love her myself.

Golyshkin. Rodion! Don’t forget that you are in a decent society!

Rodion. So, why is it indecent for a man to talk about his love for a woman?

Vykhuholev. Probably, it started since it has become decent in our society to talk about his love to a man. It's such a psychological paradox.

Rodion. I would call it a stupid perversion.

Vykhuholev. The voice of a child is the voice of God.

Rodion. Do you call me a child?!

Vykhuholev. Would you like to play a game of chess with me, Rodion Stalverovich?

Rodion. Not at all.

Ogranovich. And you are right, since you will lose anyway.

Rodion. I wonder, why?!

Ogranovich. I will reveal you a secret, but just don’t breath a word!

Rodion. I am silent as a fish!

Ogranovich. This self-proclaimed chess grandmaster has a real ability to get into other people's brain. And he thoroughly digs into it. Once I played with him. I felt like I’d had a lobotomy – a very painful brain surgery. Since then I wouldn’t recommended anyone to play with him.

Vykhuholev. I heard everything! It’s a blatant lie! This is just a pathetic revenge of a rejected woman. Elena Pavlovna expected that, if she lost the game, she would have immediately ended up in my bed. But her dreams didn’t come true. I was not so generous or drunk, I don’t remember now. Then she got spiteful and started to spread some dirty rumors about me. She claimed that I am not interested in women at all.

Ogranovich. But this is the holy truth! I can confirm that even with the oath in court.

Myshevsky. This can go on for a long time if we don't interfere. Dear professor!

Golyshkin. Yes, Andrey Sigizmundovich?

Myshevsky. So, when shall we start our session? It seems to me that everyone is ready now. There are exactly six of us, just like you planned.

Golyshkin. Now let's start then. But first, I should ask everyone to put off something.

Olga. I hope not a dress? I heard that at some satanic sessions everyone strips naked and then they have wild parties. But I was invited to a spiritual seance, and that's quite different, isn't it?

Golyshkin. No, not clothes, of course, Olga Alekseevna. Don't worry. I mean metal things, like rings, bracelets, watches.

Olga. And my diamond ring?!

Golyshkin. It also needs to be removed. These are the rules for communicating with spirits. Rodion, would you please open the window. Then light up the candles and turn off the electric light.