The Curse of Hermes Trismegistus

Myshevskiy. And how much is your vote worth?

Rodion. My vote is in exchange for yours. It's fair, isn't it?

Myshevskiy. What are you talking about?

Rodion. I need a bank loan. But it is not issued without a reliable guarantor. If such a pricy guy like you vouches for me, the problem would be easily solved.

Myshevskiy. I'm sure of it. I am the chairman of a local bank board of directors.

Rodion. So, I hit the spot!

Myshevskiy. Here's my business card, Rodion. Come over by this afternoon. And we'll make a good deal.

Rodion. Without a preliminary call?

Myshevskiy. Security will be informed. Is four p.m. okay with you?

Rodion. Any time you want! But I warn you, the sum is big.

Myshevskiy. This’s fine. I don’t bargain in trifles.

Rodion and Myshevskiy leave. Olga follows them with her eyes, then she comes up to the office door, knocks and enters.

Golyshkin. Oh, what a pleasant surprise, Olenka!

Olga. We have been meeting with you every day, Stalver Udarpyatovich, for the past two weeks. I give you injections, measure your blood pressure. Besides, you knew about my visit yesterday. What is surprising about it? Or do you think that instead of regular procedures, I will offer you something new?

Golyshkin. But what if you will?! Hope dies the last, Olenka. Why shouldn't I, an old man, dream? As long as I'm alive, albeit not quite healthy.

Olga. Any young man can envy your health, Stalver Udarpyatovich. I don’t understand why you need these injections? They are so painful!

Golyshkin. The only pleasure for me is to see you, Olenka. And, yes, you are absolutely right. I'm still not as bad! There is still life in the old dog yet.

Olga. I am sure there is! I’m going to inform my supervising doctor that you don’t need the nurse care any more. You are just pretending, professor! And I am a stupid girl, so worried about you.

Golyshkin. Olenka! Of course, if you don't like these visits…

Olga. What are you talking about, Stalver Udarpyatovich! After all, you know…

Golyshkin. What do you mean? Go on, Olenka!

Olga. Oh, nothing, just never mind!

Golyshkin. Oh, don't argue with me, otherwise my blood pressure will rise. And it will be your fault, Olenka.

Olga. Then take off your pants! (takes out a syringe.) And don't try to convince me. I won't believe you anymore. Not a single word!

Golyshkin. Oh, really, Olenka… Oh!

Olga. I hope it doesn’t hurt you, Stalver Udarpyatovich?

Golyshkin. Oh, no, Olenka, your hands are so tender, like angel’s ones! I am feeling pleasure.

Olga. That's wonderful. Now let me measure your blood pressure.

Golyshkin. Sure! I confess, this procedure is more pleasant for me than injections.

Olga. Your pressure is also perfect, Stalver Udarpyatovich. No, definitely, you don't need me any more. If only just to talk to…

Golyshkin. That’s so nice to talk to you, Olenka! By the way, have you read my book? The one I gave you last week.

Olga. Of course, Stalver Udarpyatovich.

Golyshkin. And..?

Olga. And I understood almost nothing.

Golyshkin. What a pity!

Olga. You are too smart, professor! How can I, a stupid girl, understand this philosophy? I have too many questions. And there was no one to answer them. I was reading your book at nights. Alone, lying in a cold bed under the blanket. The room was lit only by a dim table lamp. A strong wind was howling sadly outside the dark window. It was so scary!

Golyshkin. Poor girl! So what's the problem? Ask me now and I will answer.

Olga. Okay. So, you wrote about necromancy…

Golyshkin. Oh, my God, Olenka, and you too!

Olga. Have I said something stupid? Oh, I really have! Not a single word about your book any more! I don't want to seem funny to you. After all, you, Stalver Udarpyatovich, are a professor of Philosophy, and who am I? Ordinary nurse from a local district clinic.

Golyshkin. Please, forgive me, Olenka! And don't take my remark personally. The reason is my today’s guest. You might have seen him.

Olga. You mean that mysteriously looking man? He passed by me and didn’t even notice me, as if I were invisible.

Golyshkin. It’s just impossible! No man in the world can behave like that. You are perfection, Olenka!

Olga. Therefore, he is not a man. It's a comforting statement. But what did you want to tell about him, Stalver Udarpyatovich?

Golyshkin. Nothing special. I mean that this man was torturing me with his talk about spiritual séances. So, when you suddenly started talking about necromancy… about the art of communicating with the dead people’ spirits… I couldn't help exclaiming emotionally. Once again, please forgive me, Olenka!

Olga. Do not apologize, Stalver Udarpyatovich. I understand you. But, in fact, this necromancy gets me interested very much. You write so exiting about it! Especially the chapter, where you say, that the dead can show the future to the living. You can’t imagine how much I would like…

Golyshkin. Why are you silent, Olenka? Go on! What would you like?

Olga. To know my future. Isn't that clear, professor? Or does it seem strange? Any woman would give a lot to know what awaits her in the future. And not in some distant future, but in the nearest. Will she get married and when? Will she have children and how many?…

Golyshkin. But it's so dangerous!

Olga. Dangerous? Why?

Golyshkin. Knowledge about the future is not given without loss. Communication with the spirits of the dead suggests some unpredictable consequences.

Olga. So what?

Golyshkin. Well, don't you understand, Olenka?

Olga. I don't think you understand, professor. Life is short. Especially for women. After all, they live only while they are young and beautiful. When youth passes and beauty fades the life ends for us. Instead, existence begins. Just existence – boring, tedious, which nobody needs, including themselves. But if only a woman could know her future! Oh! It would change a lot.

Golyshkin. I don't understand what exactly?

Olga. Of course you don’t, since you are a man! It would protect her from many mistakes. Those which are made easily, but it takes years to correct them. If there are no mistakes, there will be no wasted years. Isn't it worth it, professor?

Golyshkin. And yet you have not convinced me, Olenka.

Olga. Neither have you, Stalver Udarpyatovich.

Golyshkin. I can predict your future even without a séance.

Olga. And that would be false, professor. Shame on you! There is nothing easier than to mislead a naive girl who trusts you so much. But if you really want me to believe you…

Golyshkin. What then? Speak up, Olenka, what should I do for this?

Olga. Hold a spiritual seance.

Golyshkin. And whose spirit would you like to summon?

Olga. Anyone’s. The main thing: he has to be dead for at least a couple of centuries or millennia ago. But not as outrageously alive and healthy as you are, Stalver Udarpyatovich!

Golyshkin. Olenka, you don’t understand what you are asking. That's really true: Oh, poor, you wanted this!

Olga. Actually, I'm not asking you for anything, professor. You just asked me to be frank with you. And I freaked out in my sincerity. But how can I trust men? This will be another bitter lesson for me. Thanks for that professor!

Golyshkin. Olenka! Don't talk to me so harshly! I feel like my blood pressure is rising again.

Olga. Perhaps, you need another injection, professor?

Golyshkin. Oh, don't remind me of injections!

Olga. I won’t. Besides, I have no time now.

Golyshkin. Are you in a hurry, Olenka? And you are not going to have tea with me, as usual?

Olga. I have to visit a dozen of other patients. And very few of them feel as good as you do, professor. Remember, I'm the district nurse, not your personal one.

Golyshkin. But are you going to come tomorrow, Olenka?

Olga. Tomorrow? Maybe. Or perhaps, another nurse would come. There are a lot of good nurses in our clinic, professor. And I'm far from the best.

Golyshkin. But I've got so used to you, Olenka! And any other does not suit me.

Olga. In our life we often have to put up with something, Stalver Udarpyatovich. Don't you know this?!

Golyshkin. But, Olenka… Are you offended?

Olga. Not at all! Goodbye professor. And don't see me off. I’ll find the way myself. I know it quite well. Hopefully, I am not going to meet any ghosts on the way. If only your son. But he's not that scary, is he?

Olga leaves the office. Rodion meets her at the door.

Olga. Wouldn’t you like to tell me anything? I can see your happy face. Was your talk successful?

Rodion. You can't even imagine how successful it was! So, tonight my pockets will be full of cash like … I will be rich like King Solomon!

Olga. I think he was wise, not rich.

Rodion. But what about his diamond mines?! And his throne of pure gold and ivory on which he used to seat?!

Olga. Okay, you can tell me everything later, all about the diamond mines of King Solomon, and about your conversation with the mysterious guest of the professor.

Rodion. Are we going to meet today?

Olga. Of course, my goofy boy! Do you really think I would let you spend all the money on yourself?

Rodion. See you tonight then?

Olga. I told you that. Now let me go. It is no good to prevent a woman from fulfilling her professional duty.

Rodion. And what about tonight?

Olga. What about tonight?

Rodion. Will you be off duty then?

Olga. After work? Of course not. Definitely, you're really stupid. What are you so happy about? For being stupid?

Rodion. Because I will see you soon again. And you will no longer say that I am a boy.

Olga. Let’s wait and see.

Rodion. And what about your goodbye kiss?

Olga. Here's a blown kiss to you, my naughty boy. So far, be happy with it. And tonight…

Rodion. And tonight?!

Olga. Oh! It depends on what you tell me when we meet.

Olga leaves. Rodion jumps high, doing a somersault with his feet in the air, and hides in one of the rooms. Golyshkin looks out of his office warily. Seeing no one, he hides behind the door again.

The light gets down.