Love' s Tender Warriors

“Ellen and I are not married. We’re, we’re seriously involved.”

“Is that what you call a six-year monogamous relationship? Seriously, when are you going to give in and live with her?”

For the first time Susan looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know. She keeps asking, but I just cant do it. Look at Mom and Dad and you, for crying out loud! Marriage equals death for a relationship. At least we still have good sex.”

Sean bit back a retort. Ellen Tyler and she shared an office in the renovated carriage house that adjoined the main house. They were friends, and she knew how much Ellen longed to cement her relationship with Susan by living together. Sean also knew how much Susan’s steadfast refusal hurt Ellen. Still, Susan was her sister, they shared the same history, and she understood Susan’s reluctance. She even shared it herself. After her divorce five years previously, she had had no interest in relationships, casual or otherwise. She didn’t miss the sex she hadn’t found it all that earth shattering to begin with. She had her friends, her sister, her work to occupy her. If occasionally she longed for someone to share her quiet moments with, it was a feeling she could live with. Life was good she was content.

“Maybe you and Ellen should see a therapist together?”

Susan shot her a horrified look. “Oh please! Isn’t AA enough? I cant face anymore processing in my life.”

Sean laughed. “Okay I give. What are you doing, anyhow?”

“Tokyo is going crazy, and I’m trying to keep all my boats afloat. Ill be done in a while I just need to make sure all my clients millions don’t turn into confetti. Want to watch a movie in about an hour?”

“Sounds great! I’m exhausted. Let me shower you pick the film.”

When they met later in the library, Susan was prepared with her choice of film. “You’ll like this one its about a lesbian psychiatrist and a bunch of women on this writers retreat.”

Sean handed her a bowl of popcorn and curled up beside her on the large sofa.

“What’s it called?”

” Claire of the Moon .”

“Okay roll it.”

Sean munched popcorn and let her body dissolve into the soft cushions as the story of two women learning to love each other unfolded. She liked the way the two main characters looked they were attractive in a light butch/femme way. The psychiatrist was pretty uptight type casting? But then, she had been hurt by love. The other one was straight except all that meant was that she slept with men. Emotionally they didn’t touch her. The women danced together and apart throughout much of the movie drawn closer by need and desire pulled apart by fear.

At one point, Susan exclaimed, “If they don’t get together soon, Ill die. I cant stand this foreplay!”

Sean laughed, “Don’t you know that’s most of the fun? Once the tension breaks, its only sex.”

Susan looked at her aghast. “Excuse me! Only sex? No wonder you can stand being celibate!”

Sean shrugged. “Its not so bad.”

Susan clicked the remote to pause. “Don’t you miss it?” she asked, uncharacteristically serious.

Sean pondered the question. “What I miss is something I never had. I don’t miss the act it wasn’t all that much fun. And what I wanted from it was closeness intimacy and that just wasn’t there.”

“Maybe it was Michael?”

“I don’t think so, Suse. He isn’t the only man I ever slept with, and some of them were damn nice guys. It just didn’t happen to me.”

“Did you ever think about women?”

Sean tossed a pillow at her. “With you and these movies around how could I not? These two are beautiful to look at , and beautiful together. So are you and Ellen. You and I share the same genes I know that. I’m just not ready for anyone, Suse. Maybe I never will be.”

Susan nodded and clicked the movie back on. She didn’t believe her sister for a minute.

CHAPTER THREE

“Line up for one-steps,” Master Drew Clark called. “Gail you’re with Sean. The rest of you pair off by rank.”

Sean stood facing Gail Driscoll, the blue belt who ranked second in the class. She was a handsome young woman, fit and strong from rugby, which was her passion after Tae Kwon Do. Her shoulder-length hair was slightly shaggy, which lent her a roguish air. She had a natural talent for the art and would have been further along if she had applied herself a little more seriously. As it was, she was young and full of spirit, and all the world seemed to beckon her with some new adventure. Sean liked her in an older sister kind of way and occasionally envied her nave optimism.

“I want ten one-steps, one after the other. I expect to see advanced techniques from the senior students. Face each other. Bow. Begin!” Drew called. She moved up and down the room, correcting stances on the newer students, offering advice to the intermediates. When she reached Sean and Gail, she stood quietly to one side, her arms folded, her legs spread. Gail, she noted, was using fairly routine techniques that they practiced many times, performing adequately but without much initiative. Sean, as she had come to expect over the month she had been teaching, was improvising new combinations that were her own originals. Her technique was crisp and controlled. Drew respected Sean’s quiet determination and tireless effort. She brought an air of calm dedication to each class and set a good example for younger students.

“Let me see something that befits your rank, Gail. Sean, put out a high section punch to the face.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they replied in unison.

Sean punched forward with her right hand, holding the position so Gail could institute a defensive combination. Gail countered swiftly with a high forearm block and turned to finish with a high hooking kick. She lost her balance slightly as she kicked and caught Sean full in the face with the heel of her foot. Sean dropped instantly, blood streaming from her nose.

“Oh god,” Gail cried. “Oh Jeez I’m sorry.”

Drew knelt beside Sean whose eyes were closed. For a brief moment Drew was in a darkened alley with another woman whose face was covered in blood. Fear and anguish threatened to choke her, and she whispered, “Dara?” in a strangled voice.

Sean moaned and opened her eyes. Through a haze she could see Drew’s face, panic-stricken, staring down at her. The blue eyes were glazed, uncharacteristically vulnerable, and a sea of pain washed through them. The hand that reached for her was trembling.

“Oh god, no” Drew moaned.

Sean heard the agony in Drew’s deep voice and struggled for speech.

“Its all right, Master Clark. I’m okay except I think my nose is broken.”

Drew shook her head, confused, and then realized where she was and what had happened.

“Lie still, Sean. Don’t try to move yet. Gail, soak a towel with cold water and bring it to me.” She glanced up at the young woman beside her, who stood terrified in place.

“Go on, Gail. Do it!” Drew snapped. As Gail rushed off, Drew turned once again to Sean. She slipped her fingers into the palm of Sean’s left hand.

“Squeeze my fingers, Sean harder. Good, now the other hand. Good. Now move both legs.” She nodded in relief as Sean complied. “Now, tell me who you are.”

“Sean Grey. I’m at the Golden Tiger Kwan, and Gail just decked me.”

Drew laughed a little shakily. “Very good. Now can you see me clearly?”

“Yes,” Sean replied, not adding that Drew looked as pale as she felt.

Drew pressed the iced towel against Sean’s face and slid one arm under her shoulders.

“Sit up very slowly lean against me.”

“Ill get blood on you,” Sean protested.

Drew laughed and pressed Sean closer. “No matter it’ll wash. Gail dismiss the class I’m driving Sean to the hospital.”

Despite Sean’s vigorous protests, Drew had insisted, and they soon joined the waiting crowd in the university hospital emergency room.

“How does it feel?” Drew asked.

“Awful how does it look?”

Drew pulled the towel away a few inches and scrutinized Sean’s face carefully. “Its swollen, but straight. With any luck, the fractures aren’t displaced and wont require surgery.”

Sean sighed. “I hope not I don’t want to miss class.”

Drew shook her head, marveling at Sean’s composure. She had seen soldiers complain more over sore muscles than this woman did.

“Master Cho is going to flay me alive for letting this happen,” Drew said dryly.

Sean started in surprise. “Why? Its not your fault!”

“Oh, but it is. Everything that happens in that room is my responsibility. I pushed Gail too hard she tried something she wasn’t ready for.”

Sean contemplated the words in silence. She knew very well the code of ethics practiced by her teachers and how seriously they took their responsibilities. This, however, seemed extreme.

“With all due respect, ma’am, accidents happen. I’ve hit a few people harder than I had intended a few times. You included.”

Drew nodded, not fully accepting the rationalization, but appreciating Sean’s efforts to assuage her guilt.

“Thanks. They’re calling you, I’ll wait.”

“No, that’s okay I can call my sister.”

“Ill wait, Sean,” Drew said with finality.

Drew pulled around the circular drive to the front of the house and parked.

Sean hesitated, and then asked tentatively, “Will you come in for a moment? Have something to drink?”

Drew started to refuse and then realized she wanted to be certain that Sean would be all right. The doctors had said her nose was cracked but would heal without surgery. Still, she had sustained a significant blow to her head.

“For a minute.” She cut the engine and hurried around the front of her black sports car, reaching the door as Sean pushed it open.

“Can you make it?” she asked, slipping her hand under Sean’s elbow.

“Yes,” Sean laughed, “Thanks.”

As Sean pushed the front door open, an anxious voice called, “Is that you, Sean?” Susan appeared around the corner and stopped in her tracks.

“Oh my god! What happened? Ellen! Ellen, come here! Sean is hurt!” She rushed up to Sean, clutching her hands. “What happened? Oh god! Sean are you all right?”

Sean pulled Susan into her arms and hugged her tightly. “I’m absolutely fine, Suse honey, relax. I just got hit in the nose.”

“Looks like you got hit in the nose with an ax,” the rangy red-head who approached behind Susan commented. “You’re a mess. How about a beer?”

Sean laughed at Ellen’s usual aplomb and nodded. “First let me introduce my teacher,” she said, turning to Drew who still stood in the doorway. “My sister, Susan her lover, Ellen Master Drew Clark.”

“Just Drew,” Drew said as she shook each woman’s hand in turn. She noticed that Susan was staring at her with anger.

“Are you the one who did this to her?” Susan demanded.

“Well, it was my fault”

“Oh, stop” Sean said in exasperation, “both of you. My face got in the way of someone’s foot and that’s all there is to it!”

Drew was surprised by Sean’s commanding tone and then realized that there were many sides to Sean she wouldn’t see in the dojang . The student-teacher relationship was very one-sided, and she generally made it a point not to socialize with students outside of class. This night had been exceptional in more ways than one.

“Perhaps I better leave if you’re sure you’re all right.”

“Nonsense,” Ellen interjected, “stay for a while so Susan will be convinced you’re not a maniac. Will you have a beer or something?”

Drew smiled, enjoying Ellen’s dry humor. It seemed a perfect foil for her lovers excitability.

“Thanks. A beer will be fine.”

“Let me get out of this,” Sean said, indicating her bloodied uniform. “Ill meet you on the terrace.”

It was almost midnight, and the hot, heavy air of late August had just begun to cool. The women stretched out on chaise lounges with their drinks. Sean crossed the patio in blue jeans and a sleeveless tee shirt and handed Drew a denim work shirt.

“You might need this. Your tee shirt is still soaked.

Drew was wearing her cotton uniform pants and the sweat-stained shirt she had worked out in. It was still damp and none too comfortable.

“Maybe Ill change”

“The bathroom is inside and to your right.”

Ellen turned to Sean when Drew stepped inside and commented, “That is one gorgeous woman. She’s got eyes to drown in and a body that doesn’t quit. How come you never mentioned her?”

Sean laughed a little self-consciously. “She’s my teacher, Ellen. She’s only been here a few weeks. I hardly know her.”

“Is she gay?” Ellen asked.

Ellen, as Sean very well knew, was relentless about details. She loved therapy because she loved the details of peoples lives, and it was intense interest in all things personal that made her such a good therapist. For in addition to curiosity, she had boundless compassion.

“I don’t know. Does it matter?”

“Ah, no but such a loss if she isn’t.”

“Pig!” Susan exclaimed good-naturedly, slapping Ellen on the arm.

Drew joined them at that moment, the shirt tucked into her uniform pants. It was a little small for her and accentuated the breadth of her well-developed shoulders. She had rolled the sleeves up to reveal muscled forearms. She sank to the chair and reached for her beer.