STEPHEN KING
The Collective
A collection of Poems, Short Stories, and other
Works by Stephen King
Phantom Press
2000
AUTHOR'S NOTE
This collection is a work in progress. As more items are
discovered, they will be added. All items in this book are short
stories, poems, and other items published by Stephen king, but not
found in any book released by his publishing company at this point
in time. The purpose of this book is to have one archive for all of
the material.
xxXsTmXxx
THIS COPY IS DATED:
06/2000
FOR
PATTY
STEPHEN
KING
An Evening at GODs
A one minit play, 1990
DARK STAGE. Then a spotlight hits a papier-mache globe,
spinning all by itself in the middle of darkness. Little by little, the
stage lights COME UP, and we see a bare-stage representation of a
living room: an easy chair with a table beside it (there's an open
bottle of beer on the table), and a console TV across the room.
There's a picnic cooler-full of beer under the table. Also, a great
many empties. GOD is feeling pretty good. At stage left, there's a
door.
GOD a big guy with a white beard is sitting in the chair,
alternately reading a book (When Bad Things Happen to Good
People) and watching the tube. He has to crane whenever he wants
to look at the set, because the floating globe (actually hung on a
length of string, I imagine) is in his line of vision. There's a sitcom
on TV. Every now and then GOD chuckles along with the laugh-
track.
There is a knock at the door.
GOD (big amplified voice)
Come in! Verily, it is open unto you!
The door opens. In comes ST. PETER, dressed in a snazzy white
robe. He's also carrying a briefcase.
GOD
Peter! I thought you were on vacation!
ST. PETER
Leaving in half an hour, but I thought I'd bring the papers for you
to sign.
How are you, GOD?
GOD
Better. I should know better than to eat those chili peppers. They
burn me at both ends. Are those the letters of transmission from
hell?
ST. PETER
Yes, finally. Thank GOD. Excuse the pun.
He removes some papers from his briefcase. GOD scans them,
then holds out his hand impatiently, ST PETER has been looking
at the floating globe. He looks back, sees GOD is waiting, and puts
a pen in his out-stretched hand. GOD scribbles his signature. As he
does, ST. PETER goes back to gazing at the globe.
ST. PETER
So Earth's still there, Huh? After All these years.
GOD hands the papers back and looks up at it. His gaze is rather
irritated.
GOD
Yes, the housekeeper is the most forgetful bitch in the universe.
An EXPLOSION OF LAUGHTER from the TV. GOD cranes to
see. Too late.
GOD
Damm, was that Alan Alda?
ST. PETER
It may have been, sir I really couldn't see.
GOD
Me, either.
He leans forward and crushes the floating globe to powder.
GOD (inmensely satisfied)
There. Been meaning to do that for a long time. Now I can see the
TV..
ST. PETER looks sadly at the crushed remains of the earth.
ST. PETER
Umm... I believe that was Alan Alda's world, GOD.
GOD
So? (Chuckles at the TV) Robin Williams! I LOVE Robin
Williams!
ST. PETER
I believe both Alda and Williams were on it when
you..umm...passed Judgement, sir.
GOD
Oh, I've got all the videotapes. No problem. Want a beer?
As ST. PETER takes one, the stage-lights begin to dim. A spotlight
come up on the remains on the globe.
ST. PETER
I actually sort of liked that one, GOD Earth, I mean.
GOD
It wasn't bad, but there's more where that came from. Now let's
Drink to your vacation!
They are just shadows in the dimness now, although it's a little
easier to see GOD, because there's a faint nimbus of light around
his head. They clink bottles. A roar of laughter from the TV.
GOD
Look! It's Richard Pryor! That guy kills me! I suppose he was...